I never thought being an adult would be so hard. I remember wishing and pleading for my childhood and teenage years to be over so I could be an adult. I wanted the husband, the family and everything else I thought an adult did. What I did not bargain for was the immense desire to be successful, to not struggle, to be the very best you can be, and even yet be better then you think you are. I never realized I'd have set myself these unattainable goals and then be so upset with myself for not reaching them.
I never imagined I'd compare myself to someone else and decide my way needed to be like their way. That I would tear myself down with these feelings of needing to do things the way "SHE" does them. Now this "SHE" I speak of, well it's not just one person. It's like 500! It's every person I see who I think has it more together then me, in some way or another.
I sit here in front of my keyboard tonight pondering. I ponder why it is that we are so desirous to be like someone else. Why do we, as women, tear ourselves down, beat our selves up, kick our own butts, set these insane goals to be like "SHE". We do this and all the while "SHE" is doing the same flippin thing! Because of course "SHE" is a woman too. We have these pictures of women to live up to, but much to often they are made up or one sided.
We rely on social media to tell us what or how everyone is doing. We profile stalk, blog stalk, twitter stalk, and the ever dreaded pinterest stalk. We do these things to get ideas on how to be a better us. But really all we are doing is tearing ourselves down. I have so much to be proud of, so much that I can share with the world. I know deep down I'm probly pretty spectacular. But on the surface, I'm not so sure... I can't name five things that I think are stellar about me. I can't name five things that I really do great and could share that with the world. But I surely could name those things about any number of my female friends or even acquaintances. Sadly, I know I'm not alone. I have, like many many other women, become victim of working on becoming like "SHE".
I have struggles that many will not. I have had struggles that many will never see. I have gifts and talents and things to share, but haven't because I have this immense feeling of not being good enough.
I don't want to be like "SHE" any more! I want to work on embracing me. Changing the things I can, embracing what I can't. Instill in my daughter that she just needs to be her. She shouldn't strive or want to strive to be like "SHE". That as a daughter of our Heavenly Father, she is amazing. She is of divine creation. Her spirit is just her own. No one will possess exactly the same talents, strengths, and weaknesses as she does; but that is exactly how it is supposed to be. The only way to do that is to embrace the things I want to teach my daughter and instill in her myself.
So I will work hard on my list of 5, how about you?