Friday, May 03, 2013

I entered a contest...

I entered a contest for the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation. I wrote quickly and from my heart. I never expected to win anything, just to get my heart out there... While I didn't win the grand prize, I did win a runner up prize .

I never imagined the challenges that I would have being faced with this condition. I never imagined having to relearn to be me, to do what I do, and to be happy with who I am. I am constantly still relearning limits, trying to push through, and forever working on body image.

 I have lost a lot of who I am; one thing no one can take from me was my God given gift of motherhood. Even when my babies don't need me any more, or don't think they need me any more, I will still be their mother. I have memories to cherish, memories to make, dreams that have came true, and dreams yet to have.

I am ME, I am not going ANYWHERE anytime soon!

The topic : Before and After adapting to MS. How I continued to fill a need in my life when MS got in the way.

Before MS I was able to snuggle, stroke, and lavish in the stolen moments of their slumber. I took for granted being able to feel their delicate skin, to stroke their soft hair. I never realized I needed those moments as a mother. I just took them because it was easy. I stole those moments when they were still and quiet.

After MS I lost the feeling in my hands, I have neuropathy in my arms and hands. Most days the pain is so significant I can't even touch my own clothing. I have learned to adapt by stealing snuggle moments while they are awake, I use my cheek to feel close to them because it has feeling. I write in my blog to get out the frustrations of my loss. I have however gained an appreciation for those moments I did get and for the new ones I am creating with them because at least I have them.

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